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Showing posts with label Funny jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny jokes. Show all posts
Wednesday, 17 July 2013
Friday, 18 January 2013
Wednesday, 16 January 2013
Saturday, 12 January 2013
Friday, 11 January 2013
Tuesday, 8 January 2013
Compaq is considering changing the command....
JOKE OF THE DAY................
Compaq is considering changing the command 'Press any key' to 'Press Enter key' because of the flood of calls asking where is the 'Any' key.
Sunday, 19 August 2012
Funny Jokes
Jokes part-2
7 thngs stdents do durng prpration leaves:
1-sleeping
2-eating
3-sms
4-watchTV
5-chat wid frnds
6-dream of touchng books
7-askng others kuch padha kya!!
Principle- "Late kyu ho"
Student-"Bike khrab ho gyi thi"
Principle-"Bus se nahi aa sakte the kya"
Student- "Kya karu,aapki hi BETI nahi maani".
Teri surat pe dil haru,Wah Wah.
Teri zarurt pe jaan waru,Wah Wah.
Jis din tera msg yacall nhi ata,
ji chahta hai teri kanpati pe do maru
Ab bolo Wah Wah.
Apni Duniya me yun Kho Na jana,
Door Hokar Hame Bhul Na jana,
Khabar Hamari Na Le Sako to Koi Gum Nahi,,
par Apni Khabar Dena Bhul Na jana..
Kisi ne GOD se pucha:
u gave 2eye
2ear
2arm
2leg
2kidney
2lip bt only 1heart?
GOD:budhu
dil B 2hi diye he
bs dusra dhundna padta hai.
Boy:Teri judai me Need udti hai Chain khota hai Jan jati hai Dil rota hai kuch kuch hota hai GIRL: doctor ko dikha lo bhaiya swine flu aise hi hota hai...
Bhakt-Baba koi aisi job batao, jaha muje kaam na karna pade, Log apna kaam khud kare Or muje paise bhi de.!ABA- Jao beta "SULABH SHOUCHALAY" khol lo.! @
Jo Koi Na Kr Ska Wo Hum Kr Denge,Tumhare Mobile Ko Sms Se Bhar Denge,immat Hai To Sms Kr Do,arna Hum Akele Hi Tumhari NAAK ME DUM Kr Denge..
All happy Husbands behave like Amir Khan in Ghajini :-) . . . biwi ki sunte hai, Samajhte hai, 15 Min ke Baad sab Bhool Jaate Hai.-
Humko Yu Pagal Banana Chhor Do
Muft Ka Maal Khana Chhod Do
Tumhari Khushbu Ajeeb Si Lagti Hai
Bartan Wale Sabun Se Nahana Chhod Do.
;-)
80% of d Colg studnts in d wrld r suffering frm AIDS.
Cant believe? . Bt its true!
AIDS:
.
.
.
.
.
.
Attendance &
Internal marks
Deficiency Syndrome...gd9t
Kesa lagta hai?
Rimjim barsat me,
lahrati Hawao k sang,
Khamosi se chalte hue,
Koi apka hath thame aur chupke se kahe..
Aage guter hai, zra dhyan se!
Pyase ko ek kotora pani hi kafi h,ishq k liye 4 pal ki zindgi hi kafi h,hum dubne ko samundar m kyo jaye-marne ko to tumhari ankh se gira 1 ansu hi kafi h...
Many Birds die in Summer without water. Save them. Plz put Water Pots for thirsty Birds at Balcony/Window etc. Fwd dis msg to atleast 1 people. God will Help u
Jokes
Jokes Part-1
A lady Biology teacher: Girls can u tel me exactly where is ur heart?
ALL the girls shouted loudly: "Your name" ke pass!!
Teacher smiled & said: mera bhi... :-)
Patni: Uttho raat ke 2 baje hai
Pati:Itni raat ko q uthaya
Patni:Aapne neend ki goli nahi li
Ek girl ko dekh kar boy ne arz kiya-Tere smile me kya chamak hai,
tere smile me kya chamak hai,
wo muskura k boli-ARE PAGAL MERE TOOTHPASTE ME NAMAK HAI..
Jaane kahan the or kahan aa gaye.,
Duniya me ban ke mehman aa gaye.,
Abhi to books kharidi bi nahi thi.,
Or na jaane kahan se ye 'EXAMS' aa gaye.
Lalu:Vidwano ne kaha hai... Ki murkh aadmi ki biwi bahut sundar hoti hai. Rabdi: Dhat....... Aap ke paas to hamaar taarif ke alawa kono kaam hi naahi hai.
1st pagal- mein is mental hospital me naya hu muje pagalo ke BOSS se milna hai.
2nd pagal-Sssshh......Chup!
awaz mat karo BOSS message padh rahe hain.
Teacher: btao sbse zyada nasha kis cheez me hota h..?? Student: books me..!!
Teacher: vo kaise..??
Stdnt: kholte hi neend a jati hai
Din beet jate hain suhani yaade bnkr Baate rh jate hai kahani bnkr pr pyar to hmesha dil k qarib rhenga kabhi muskan to kbhi aakhon ka pani bnkr.
Log kehte h ki pyar itna bhi mat karo ki girlfrnd sar par sawar ho jaye,
Hum kehte h ki pyar itna karo ki girlfrnd ki frnd bhi ap pe fida ho jaye.
Little keys can open big locks, simple words reflect great thoughts, your SMILE can cure Heart blocks, so keep on SMILING-it rocks... Gooöoöd niiiiightttt
Heer Ro Ro Kar Ranjhe Se Keh Rahi Hai
Heer Ro Ro Kar Ranjhe Se Keh Rahi Hai
Rumal De De Kutte Meri Naak Beh Rahi Hai.
A Depressd B.tech student went 2 rail track 4 sucide, Train cuming closer & closer But he sudnly Cum out of track & said "oh yr Kal toh asignment dena hai"
Gandhi ji nhi rhe,Nehru ji b chale gye,Bhagat Singh ko b fansi de di gyi,Jhansi b shaheed ho gayi!Meri b tabiyt thik nhi rhti!Pta nhi is desh ka kya hoga?Hahaa
A stdnt attached 100 Rs Note wid his test ppr & rote "Rs 1 for 1 mark" Sardar was ppr chacker He send him Rs 81 back &wrote "U Keep d chage.Gd
Jaat riding a cycle & hits a girl.
Girl: Ghanti nahi maari jaati kya?
Jaat: Re chhori baawli dikhe?
Poori cycle maar di ab ghanti alag se maru ke.
Sunday, 8 January 2012
Unlimited Technical Jokes - IT, CS HUMOUR
1. Compaq is considering changing the command 'Press any key' to 'Press Enter key' because of the flood of calls asking where is the 'Any' key.
2. AST technical support had a called complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packed in !
4. Another customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later. a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies of the floppies.
5. A Dell technician advised a customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, put the receiver next to the phone, crossed his room and closed the door to his room.
6. Another Del customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting. the tech discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the 'Send' key.
7. Yet another Dell customer called to complain desk that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaked the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.
8. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was engaged because his computer had told him he was 'bad and invalid'. The tech explained that the computer's 'bad' command and 'invalid' resoponses shouldn't be taken personally.
10. A confused caller to IBM told the technician that the computer had said it 'couldn't find printer'. The user had tried turning the computer screen to face the printer, but that his computer 'still' couldn't 'see' the printer.
11. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new computer wouldn't work. she said, she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes, waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked 'what power switch ? '
At 3:37 a.m. on a Sunday, I had just looked at the clock to determine my annoyance level, when I received a frantic phone call from a new user of a Macintosh Plus. She had gotten her entire family out of the house and was calling from her neighbor's. She had just received her first system error and interpreted the picture of the bomb on the screen as a warning that the computer was going to blow up!
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
(At this point I had to put the caller on hold to tell the rest of the tech support staff what had happened. I couldn't, however, stop from giggling when I got back to the call.)
Tech Support: "Ok, did you type 'click' with the keyboard?"
Customer: "I have done something dumb, right?"
One woman called Dell's toll-free line to ask how to install the batteries in her laptop. When told that the directions were on the first page of the manual the woman replied angrily, "I just paid $2,000 for this damn thing, and I'm not going to read the book!"
Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
Customer: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support: "Tell me what you've done."
Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."
Tech Support: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer: "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer "No..."
Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Customer: "Uhh...I need help unpacking my new PC."
Tech Support: "What exactly is the problem?"
Customer: "I can't open the box."
Tech Support: "Well, I'd remove the tape holding the box closed and go from there."
Customer: "Uhhhh...ok, thanks...."
Customer: "I'm having a problem installing your software. I've got a fairly old computer, and when I type 'INSTALL', all it says is 'Bad command or file name'."
Tech Support: "Ok, check the directory of the A: drive-go to A:\ and type'dir'."
Customer reads off a list of file names, including 'INSTALL.EXE'.
Tech Support: "All right, the correct file is there. Type 'INSTALL' again."
Customer: "Ok." (pause) "Still says 'Bad command or file name'."
Tech Support: "Hmmm. The file's there in the correct place-it can't help but do something. Are you sure you're typing I-N-S-T-A-L-L and hitting the Enter key?"
Customer: "Yes, let me try it again." (pause) "Nope, still 'Bad command or file name'."
Tech Support: (now really confused) "Are you sure you're typing I-N-S-T-A-L-L and hitting the key that says 'Enter'?"
Customer: "Well, yeah. Although my 'N' key is stuck, so I'm using the 'M' key...does that matter?
At our company we have asset numbers on the front of everything. They give the location, name, and everything else just by scanning the computer's asset barcode or using the number beneath the bars.
Customer: "Hello. I can't get on the network."
Tech Support: "Ok. Just read me your asset number so we can open an outage."
Customer: "What is that?"
Tech Support: "That little barcode on the front of your computer."
Customer: "Ok. Big bar, little bar, big bar, big bar . . ."
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